That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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