so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
