I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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