Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
