Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
