Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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