She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Dick very happy bro
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
