I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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