His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I need to calm my uterus...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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