I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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