Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
