please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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