he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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