I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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