ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Houston, we have a blender
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize