In America we eat man semen.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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