CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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