Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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