There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
