Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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