Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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