Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
