i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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