Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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