glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
