you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
