When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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