I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
