Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize