I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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