and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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