Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
