So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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