I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
