I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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