Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
