The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
