what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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