youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
