Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
