Swine flu. Run for my life!
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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