I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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