Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
