Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
