Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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