U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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