Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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