i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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