he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
