her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
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