Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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