The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
So many bounce houses so little time
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
