I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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