I must be too annoying 4 u.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize