The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
