If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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