There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
