Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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